KateAndDally

Oh, the humanity...

UO, poor man, is sick.  He coughs, he wheezes, he invites sympathy (literally) and outright bathos.  He (plaintively) requests that someone set up a foundation for research into his disease; to which I add my request that someone start a telethon to raise funds so I might escape!

Brought to You Courtesy of TLO

The Three Smart Words of Smartliness:

1) KNOWLEDGE

2) INTELLIGAAHNCE (dramatic music)

3) INFORMATIONAL KNOW-IT-ALL (like we have here in our house)

Now, you know.

Internet Funnies

I received one of those long email humor chains today, but some of the "definitions" are really funny so I'm posting them here.  (Note to Attribution Gods: I would, really I would, but I don't know who to credit!)

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

  ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

  TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in  Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the  US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing. (practically haiku!)

  BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

My fav line: You are surprised when one cow drops dead.  Indeed you are.

 

Screamingly Funny

UO sent me this link...I laughed, I cried, I was moved...