(I should add a new category --above -- called Adults Behaving Cruelly to Idiot Children, or People I Hold In Total Contempt, since none of my tags seem to fit...)
You probably have already heard about this case -- it's been in the news a bit. Just a bit (here, here, here, etc.). Briefly, in November of 2006 13 y.o. Megan Meier committed suicide after being told by an on-line friend named Josh that she was a horrible person and the world would be better off without her.
This is a ghastly story and every parent's worst nightmare. It only gets worse.
Josh was a fabrication on MySpace, created by a neighborhood friend of Megan's, herself a 13 y.o. girl of limited judgment, with either the active participation of, or the tacit approval of, the girl's mother, who like Mrs. Offering, is in her mid-40s. The girl reported to her mother that Megan had called her a lesbian (God forbid) and Girlie and Momma thought they'd create a character that would draw Megan out so they could confirm the rumors. Or that's what they say now. Pieces of the emails published in various news reports indicate that "Josh" was a straw man, as it were, set up to entice Megan and then..what? Another neighborhood girl who was involved in the incident say Momma and Girlie wanted to "get back" at Megan for real or imagined or inflated slights. The New Yorker piece implies that Megan had a regrettable habit of being intensely involved with her girl friends for days at a time and then needing to keep them at arm's length, which could be quite painful to a young girl (hey, I remember those days); but the answer to this is the same one I got from my mother lo those many years ago: don't waste your time with people who don't value your friendship. My mother would NOT have suggested we go commit fraud and spread lies about my frenemy in order to pay her back. My mother grasped the whole adult role-model thing in spades, something that Momma apparently does not.
So Momma either approved in spirit and/or actively facilitated the creation of the MySpace page (she sure provided the credit card); the neighborhood girl says she suggested several of the emails (I just typo'd "emauls," which is pretty appropriate when you think about it) but of course, OF COURSE Momma never meant for Megan to kill herself. She just wanted to deliver to Megan a good, rich dose of the hell she felt Megan had been dumping on her girlie. She even wrote a condolence letter to the family after Megan's funeral. That was before the Meiers knew of her involvement. Do you think she came clean in the letter? What a smart person you are!
No, the neighborhood girl (who is now in therapy, according to the Post story) came clean to her mother, who went to the police, who investigated (as have the FBI), at which point Momma admitted Story V.1, which is that she was an active participant in the Megan harassment. This is borne out by a statement from one of the other harassers, who said that Momma used to dictate messages that "Josh" should send Megan.
Eventually the police came to the Meiers and told them what -- and who -- had led to their child's suicide. Incredibly, back in the summer Momma and her husband had asked the Meiers to store a Foosball table meant as a Christmas present for their kids --that would be Girlie and her sibling(s) -- in their, the Meiers', garage. When the Meiers found out about Momma's role, they took turns smashing the Foosball table with sledge hammers. They then delivered it to Momma's family in a cardboard box spray painted with "Merry Christmas." Momma is of course lucky the Foosball table is the only thing that got whacked.
The Meiers told a local newspaper the truth about their daughter's death, but they showed (to me) incredible restraint by not naming names. The story was picked up by various news outlets and bloggers but Momma's identity was still protected...until one intrepid? meddlesome? lady in another part of the country read about it, was outraged, and started digging. Her efforts eventually led her to Momma's house (literally; read the Post story) and Momma's name, which I'm not going to reveal, because someone's gotta stop this pilin' on. Be adults, people!
Both the online and the real communities reacted violently.
Needless to say, everyone's life is ruined. The kids who participated, including one 18 y.o. who should have known better, are in therapy but have apologized profusely to the Meiers, who have forgiven them as best they can. Momma and her family are pariahs in the neighborhood and in the world (the local D.A. has said he gets calls on the case from Europe and Asia) ...but they apparently broke no law that the local D.A. can find, so they are at large. Reports are that Momma is defiant in the face of such incredible, overwhelming, overwrought criticism ... much of which she richly deserves; she and her husband (where was he in all of this mess?) ran a direct mail business out of their home, and the Post reports that business has gone bust due to local boycotts. Her daughter has been hounded out of school and must be home-schooled.
The Meiers,their daughter dead, are divorcing.
All this because one mother had no better recourse to right her daughter's life than to bully another child.
That's the part I can't get past -- her best alternative, the only alternative that seemed feasible and appropriate, was to bully a child. Not call a meeting of the families, or the girls themselves, or...or...or...God help me, ignoring the whole thing. No, the best answer was to lie and deceive and insult.
And don't even get me started on the woman who ran down Momma's true identity and blasted it to the real and virtual worlds. What has she accomplished here? Other than wildly inflating her own sense of importance? Retribution only works when the sinner realizes the true weight of the sin.
Sometimes this world scares me deeply.
