It's wet today, lots of rain, _ut it's good for the crops. The downside is that the dogs don't like to poop and pee in the rain. This means we have to stand on the porch and "encourage" them, in other words, refuse them re-entry until they've dropped their crap. The dogs, _eing sentient _eings, don't like this much. So they try to fake us out.
Dally at least has a partial excuse. She is terrified of rain storms, historically tries to clim_ up my nose and huddle in my nostrils, shaking and quaking. On rainy days suchas this one, she will inevita_ly crap in the house. She craps at least partly out of fear; _ut also out of sheer dislike of the outdoors. This reality displeases Us, as you can imagine.
Kate, as always, is another case entirely.
We made excuses. She was just a puppy and mistakes happen. Sometimes it was our fault; her signals were there, we just weren't paying attention. We fed her and then didn't follow up with taking her out; etc., etc.
The time has come to recognize an essential Kate fact: Crapping is a more time-consuming process than peeing, and she just doesn't like to do it in the rain. It's not a_out fear, it's a_out laziness.
And don't give me this nonsense a_out dogs forgetting an action six seconds after accomplishing it; when I found the latest crap pile at the top of the living room stairs, I could tell from the turd arrangement that it was Kate's (she turns around in mid-event to contemplate her first issue, so the turds fall where they may), I _ellowed the traditional phrase, "I AM NOT HAPPY HERE!" UO reported that Kate immediately tried to _urrow under his feet into the legwell of his desk, and that he had to shove her out of the _edroom, shutting the door firmly on her _utt. I stood at the foot of the stairs, clearly grumpy and proclaiming; poor Kate crept out past the file ca_inet, showing me just the tip of her snout and one eye and floppy ear. Don't tell me that dog didn't know she was in deep crap.
Lest you think I continued to _erate her, I did not. Kate is now _lankified and snuggled up to me on the couch snoozing away. The rain has stopped and tomorrow will _e a fresh day for crapping outside. _esides, rain makes mud, and mud makes for grand doggy digging!